Show
don’t tell. You’ll have heard that phrase many times, so
be sure you are acting upon it. Your story needs to engage the emotions. It’s no
use simply saying that a character was feeling this way or that way; it’s no
good saying they were feeling angry or feeling sad. It’s through the character’s
actions, reactions, words and thoughts that you need to show them being angry or being sad – or any one of the many emotions
people feel: misery, jealousy, grief, joy, sympathy, love, hate and so on.
There’s a fine line between
showing and telling. You show what’s going on through the story narrative. It
ends up as ‘telling’ when the narrative takes it a step too far; when the
author chips in and blatantly tells the reader something they feel they need to
know. It’s when you’re offering too much information.
If it’s that important,
find some way of letting the characters impart this to the reader. The author
should have the confidence in their characters to do so, and not feel the
reader won’t understand unless they add their two-pennyworth. Words to watch
out for that might indicate you’re about to tell, could include: because,
for and as.
Use the senses
To bring a scene to life and allow the reader to experience the
events in all their glory, write using all your senses – taste,
touch, smell, sound, sight – and not forgetting your sixth sense, that
ability to just ‘know’ something.
Sight
Readers know what everyday
objects look like, so pick out the unusual aspect or angle, or focus on something
that has specific meaning to the character, perhaps something that brings back
memories or affects their emotions in some way. To increase suspense, why
not have normal everyday things suddenly appearing wrong. If you’ve seen the
film ‘Sleeping with the Enemy’ you’ll remember the chilling effect those
neatly stacked tins and folded towels created.
Little things associated with
an unpleasant character can increase tension.
Perhaps your villain smoked cigarettes, so the stub of one left on the heroine’s
doorstep might heighten her fear. The sight of a footprint or a large paw print
in the soft earth might add tension; or
the sight of something just disappearing out of sight; or the glimpse of a
shadow; or the glare of car headlights. Whatever you choose to mention in your
narrative, let
it be there for a reason.
Sound
Bring
a scene to life by
allowing your reader to hear the sounds that your character can hear. Think of
the background noises whether your characters are in a factory, a supermarket, on a beach, in
an aircraft or wherever. If there is a sound that is out of place in that
situation, be sure to let the reader hear that. Let us hear the tone of someone’s voice when they speak and the
way that is modulated depending who they are talking to.
When increasing tension, emotion and atmosphere,
draw attention to sounds that may not have been noticed before. A quiet room
can become even quieter if you can hear the ticking of a clock, or the soft popping
of a gas fire, or the sound of their own breathing. You can heighten the suspense in a story by writing in the softest sounds –
a whisper, a creak. The softest sounds are often the most effective.
Smell
We have all experienced how
certain smells conjure up different memories and feelings. A certain smell can
whisk you back decades. Freshly baked
bread, a particular perfume or aftershave, a fish and chip shop, a sea breeze,
an oily garage, bacon and eggs cooking, lilies, roses, newly mown grass,
freshly ground coffee. Use your sense of smell in your writing to bring a scene to life. And when you want to emphasise the mood
even more strongly, focus your character’s attention on the smell of something specific
and meaningful.
Taste
Your characters may taste lots of good and bad things
throughout your story, but again use the ploy cleverly when you really want to
arouse the emotions. Let them taste things other than food. How about the taste
of their lover’s lips against theirs? Or taste rain on their tongue; or snowflakes
or fog. At the other end of the scale, let them taste fear, let it be so tangible
that they can taste it. Perhaps they are so sickened that they taste the bile burning
in their throats. What if they are so wracked with misery that their favourite
food tastes like wood shavings and sticks in their throat? As people know what
certain things taste like, be selective in what you choose to write about – pick
out the more unusual things to taste, or when things taste wrong for some reason.
Touch
This sense can portray so
much. People in love want to touch each other constantly, to be close, holding
hands, caressing, cuddling. Parents hug their children;
people stroke their pets; strangers do not touch and if they do, there is embarrassment
and apologies for invading the other person’s space. Acquaintances might shake
hands. We touch and feel so many things, the silky fabric of a ball gown; the
smooth surface of an expensive piece of furniture or ornament; we might touch a
leather coat to feel its softness and suppleness. Let your reader feel your
character’s world through the sensation of touch.
The sixth sense
Sense is all about awareness, of perception and
recognition. That sixth sense is our extra sensory perception, which some
people have more than others. It's a feeling of knowing something when really
there's no evidence to support it. I'm a big believer in allowing my character to
have that sixth sense – not in a constant mystical way, but just occasionally
it can work wonders, when your character just senses that something is going to
happen. Something bad was coming their way… Often it works a treat if you're
aiming to send a shiver down the reader's spine.
Today’s Exercise:
Take your protagonist to a setting that’s new to
them, narrate and describe through their emotions and senses, and really bring
the scene to life.
Thank you Rob Tysall, Tysall's Photography for the image. This is of Coventry's ancient Charterhouse.
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